There And Back Again
The Characters
Sam
husband, father,
Chief Designer and Builder, bread baker and pie maker, gardener extraordinaire, poet, witty intellect
Ben
Sam’s dad, wood artisan,
house builder extraordinaire,
retired farmer, caretaker of his mother, grandfather
Katie
wife, Mama,
occasional voice of reason, herbalist,
spiritual midwife extraordinaire,
bread earner, Chief Financial Officer, writer, archivist
& the Kids
Sam
Sam knows the land like it is a part of him—and indeed it is. Sam is an interesting person. He is completely and unapologetically himself. He is the best man I have ever met, and while I am prone to dramatic statements, this one is also true. He is very even-tempered, though having kids certainly challenged that and he has felt all the feels since they entered our lives. He is extremely smart and observant. He has a stoic quality to him. He is hard working, determined, and exceedingly frugal. He is so low maintenance, he’s high maintenance. He has a gorgeous, layered relationship with God. He is also laugh out loud funny, witty and pun-y in the good way, completely non-judgmental, and an outrageous dancer: he dances as if nobody’s watching...and trust me, everybody’s watching.
Sam studied Horticulture at Montana State University and became a gardener. He worked in Bozeman for many years as a professional gardener. There is a quiet and calmness to Sam. His deep waters are smooth on the surface and hint at but don’t reveal the richness of his internal landscape.
After many years working the earth, Sam’s knees were hurting and he had suffered a few bouts of sunstroke. He concluded he was not destined to have the family he yearned for, so he decided to fight for justice and enrolled in Boston College of Law at age 29. As one potential employer said, “usually lawyers quit to become gardeners, not the other way around.”
(I worry that my description of Sam might be too saint-like. He does have his faults, of course. He is stubborn. He is so low-maintenance we can be high-maintenance. He sucks at giving emotional feedback. He is irritatingly honest. He cuts his own hair.)
Wanna see what I mean about the
outrageous dancing?
You're in luck!
When Sam and I were engaged in our six month long email courtship, I googled him (like you do). A bunch of his poetry and this video showed up.
When I watched this I thought, "I may be the only person to ever think this...but that's hot."
Ben
Ben is a farmer who dreams of the sea. He went to Montana State University, spent some time in the Army Reserves, and then returned to the farm to work the land. Ben chose the best view on the farm: an awe-inspiring vista of slough, river, forest, and mountains. Ben and his father built a house with a two-story wall of windows looking out on pure beauty. Maureen joined Ben and they had three children (Sam is the middle child).
The Loudens are industrious and Ben is likely the hardest working man I have ever met. He loved the cows, pigs, and chickens in his care when he had them and he loves the land he lives on. He is the son who stayed and shouldered the family legacy, and while he is tied to the land he has dreamed of sailing since he learned to read. He has built incredibly beautiful as well as practical boats over the past decades as he continued to tend to the farm. He even purchased a Schooner in hopes of finally pursuing his life-long dream, but once he started the process of gutting it became clear that Ben had been cheated and the boat was literally rusted through. (This is such a sad story that I cannot write it here. The people who painted over the rust and sold the boat under false pretenses are on my forever shit-list.)
In May 2010, Ben had a very bad accident that injured his brain. He was washing the windows way up high and his ladder slipped. He fell, hit the rock wall barrier, ricocheted, and fell again to land on concrete. I had met him barely half a year earlier when I visited the farm to meet Sam in person, so I had only glimpsed the kind of person Ben was before his accident, but I could see the difference in my husband’s father. Ben is still all the excellent things he was excellent at, but he is operating at about 60%. It is still impressive what he can accomplish, but he has a harder time working things out in his head and he obsesses more than he did before his accident.
Katie
As for me...
I'm new to this way of life, but it is a way that I have felt called to since I was a child. The transition hasn't been easy, but it has been fulfilling.
I studied theatre and music while at Gonzaga University as an undergrad and received my M.A. in Spirituality with a Certificate in Spiritual Direction from Loyola University Chicago.
I am a spiritual director, an herbalist, a knitter, a liturgical musician, a writer, and more. I am figuring out how to support our financial needs while caring for the children and living in a mud puddle (as Sam continues to work on the house). I'll let you know how that works out.
I offer spiritual direction and herbal support at A Home for Healing Arts. I also sell handmade knits at Lavandula Jane's Handmade Blessings. And I have and e-course and e-books here and there (you can find out about new offerings by signing up for the A Home for Healing Arts mailing list).
Teas, tinctures, and spa blends are HERE!
